Last day of 2011

I'm having a bad day . . . it's the last day of 2011, and in a way, I don't want this year to end because this was the last year my mom was alive.  As long as I have 2011, I still feel like she is a part of me . . . I know this doesn't seem to make sense, but it's how I feel.  I spent most of the day crying because on top of everything, my little dog Taco, my chihuahua for 11 years, has been really sick, vomiting for about three or four days.  He is not acting right.  I know that he is getting old, and that his time is really limited.  David and I talked, and we decided to take him to the vet.  I pretty much knew the vet would recommend that we put him down, so I gingerly wrapped Taco in a Carolina blanket (he's a Gamecock fan, too), and held him for a while and told him what a wonderful friend he has been to me.  I kissed him and pet his little head.  I was not ready to lose him, too.  He is the dog that pretty much started the chihuahua craze around my house and why I got Lulu (another chi) for my mom for her 60th birthday.

We did the neatest thing for her birthday.  We took a picture of Lulu and cut it into seven pieces.  Then each of us put a piece in an envelope and put To: Mom/From: Laurie (or whoever), and gave them to her.  As she opened each piece, she just didn't know what to think.  She finally put the pieces together and saw that we were giving her a dog.  The look on her face was priceless as we brought Lulu into the room for her.  She later confessed that she didn't know if she wanted to keep Lulu and didn't know how she was going to give her back to me.  Lulu won her heart over and she became my mom's little girl (well, I would always be her big girl).  My mom even later got Andy, a rescue from the pet shelter, so Lulu wouldn't be lonely.

We both loved our dogs and took them to the beach and included them in Christmas celebrations, etc.  I'm so glad that my mom and I were able to share this love of animals.  Between the two of us, we have nine!  Six dogs and three cats (well, we even have a snake now - thank you, David!).

The good news (I think) is that Taco has diabetes, but the vet did not recommend we put him down.  Maybe my mom will become Taco's guardian angel and heal him, too.  She knows, more than anyone, how much that little dog means to me.

So as 2011 comes to a close, I'm happy to put the sadness behind me, but I'm sad to close the last year of my mom's life.  I miss you mom, and I'll be toasting to you at midnight.  <3