It's February - my mom's favorite month of the year. She loved everything about it - the horoscope sign of Pisces, the royal purple of its birthstone amethyst, the candy and flowers of Valentine's Day, the almost-chance of snow some years, and most of all, her birthday. February 24th, 2012, would have been my mom's 70th birthday. As the day approached, I became increasingly anxious and fearful. What could I do to honor her? How would I make it through the day? And, what would that day, February 24th, feel like without her gone from my world? Would I be able to weather life's storms?
The day came . . . it was a downcast day. I knew it would be melancholy and fragile, mirroring my frame of mind. I didn't work that day . . . didn't think I could navigate the day at school with students and bells and paperwork and lunch duty. Visions of me crumpled on the floor like the ashes of an extinguished fire filled me with panic. Yet somehow, I knew I could survive if I just did things that would make me happy. I met a friend for coffee at Starbucks, a good friend whom I had not seen in a long while, and surprisingly we picked up as if not one second had passed.
Later I met my daughter Kristen for an early lunch, having just finished a late breakfast of oatmeal and a Venti Blonde at Starbucks. Kristen soon left, and again that feeling of uneasiness returned, as I was alone with my thought. I decided to go to Dollar General to buy something, anything, just to occupy my mind, as loneliness was the ghost I feared.
While in the car, I had heard a violent storm was on its way at 75 miles per hour towards somewhere around our area, and it was packing 60 mile-an-hour winds, but I wasn't alarmed because it was not supposed to hit us directly. In the store, I meandered through the aisles, looking for something to buy. Picking up and putting down things randomly, I suddenly grew aware of a steady pounding sound. Sirens seemed to blaring outside. I made my way to the front of the store, and the doors of store, completely made of glass, as well as large plate glass windows, rattled and wavered with the onslaught of the wind, the piercing sound I had heard.
I assessed the situation quickly as the lights flickered on and off. Where would I go? Standing in front of glass doors and a wall of windows did not seem to be the best option. I began surveying the store looking for shelter. As I sat on a carton of detergent boxes in the back of the store, I saw the sign "Women." That's where I should be - a bathroom. I surmised that taking cover under the sink would be the most logical plan.
Wait! It was my mom's 70th birthday . . . she was my guardian angel. "Mom, I'm scared." Am I really going to be caught in the wreckage of a tornado as it brings down the Dollar General? "Please, Mom, ask God to keep us all safe. Please stop this storm. It's your birthday, so surely this can't be happening to me?"
As quickly as it started, it ceased. The sound of nothing felt so good as I realized the rain stopped and the wind died. I was okay, and my life would not end at the Dollar General on my mom's 70th birthday. I weathered the storm and will weather the storms.
